Its Raining Its Pouring

Taka loves the books Chicka Chicka ABC and Chicka Chicka 123. We only started reading Chicka Chicka 123 about 2 weeks ago and Taka is already pretending to read it by himself. We made this coconut tree and I can often find Taka by it, playing with the letters, and singing the chant. He also wanted to make our Christmas tree into an alphabet tree.

Takafumi loves to wear his rain boots and jumps in puddles. He also loves to carry around his umbrella even when there are no rain clouds to be seen. A while back, his dad fixed his umbrella with a needle and thread, and now whenever Taka sees a needle and thread he asks about fixing his umbrella.

He also loves to sing "Its Raining Its Pouring." He also loves to sing and splash to "Splish Splash I was taking a bath" while washing up in the bathtub.

Taka talk to Santa!

A few days before Christmas, Taka started telling me "Taka wants to talk to Santa". I bought a Santa suit, but could not find a person to play Santa, so decided to go with "Daddy Santa". Taka was super excited, and then wanted to wear Santa`s suit. I really have not talked so much about Santa, I just had Taka watch a Blues Clues holiday DVD and Dora`s Christmas. I guess from that, Taka really wanted to meet Santa.

Recently, I have been quite bothered by Taka because he will not let me get a word in with his father, he wants me only to talk to him. If I try to talk to his dad (or anyone else in fact) he screams at the top of his lungs. Then I of course do the same after unsucessful ignoring...then he says "Taka talk", I say go ahead, and he has nothing to say, so he just says "excuse me". I am trying to teach him properly, but ugh is it frustrating!

Also, in the car when his dad or I beep the horn at ignorant, dangerous driving moves of drivers, Taka always spits and says "go away car". (We have been reading the book "Go Away Big Green Monster.")

Whenever Taka sees garbage on the ground, he picks it up and throws it away. When he was a baby, I thought that I would just do that so he was a little environmentally concious, but it really seems like it has become a part of him. Interesting to watch the personality develop.

Taka often wants to "Talk to the man" or "Talk to the woman" if he thinks he needs to help. He is trying to be a little 3 year old grown-up!

A cat`s language

Why do little boys (and girls) but ezpecially boys love to chase cats? Yesterday, a friend, his 1.7 years old son and I went to put gas in my car (as my husband had always done here it here in Japan, I was afraid to ruin my husband`s gas tank by putting the wrong gas in or something). When we arrived home, his dad was looking at the car manual in order to explain something to me, I let the son out of his car seat. There was a curious cat that came to check out what was going on (and maybe score some food). A chase ensued. All the way to the neighboring temple and into the woods where I asked the boy to say goodbye to the kitty. The boy had squeeled with joy throughout his little pursuit. Why does chasing cats give such joy to little boys?

Most all of the trouble my son got into up to about the age of 2.5 had its origins in cat chasing. He went through a period of kicking the cats, screaming with delight as they scrambled away, and pursued them to the depths of their despair. Now he is into bigger and better things like turning on excavators and other machines and unknown to me, letting them idle for days. As for his current attitude towards the cats, he often makes efforts to pet and hug them, but they want nothing to do with the little imp. During imaginative play Taka mimics the tender preening the cats lives seem to revolve around. As a young girl, I remember my brother and cousins always torturing cats.

I am lead to believe that cats speak a special language--something like "come chase me little boy, meow."

That brings me to another childhood memory--one of me being chased by mean old geese in the yard. The chickens, especially the roosters, catching onto my fear of being chased enjoyed to take pursuit too, but one goose imparticular rerevolved its life around torturing me. For a time, I could not walk from the house to the shed or vice versa without hightailing it into full speed ahead. Have you ever been nipped by a goose beak? It hurts! Maybe I should have learned the langauge of the gander--honk--or just begged dad for a goose dinner!

Now that I am strolling down memory lane, I realize that animals were an important aspect of my childhood. I think my son really wants his own cat or dog, but considering the fact that he innocently almost commits goldfish homicide nearly everyday recently...I think I will wait a bit longer into his maturity before I even consider a bigger animal responsibility.

I remember the pond in the backwoods of our house--it was always full of ducks--their quack quacking filling the air. I do not remember all of the duck species names, but I remember my dad always promising to get me a green-headed mallard (the male). My dad never did come through on that promise, and I still do this day would like to have a green-mallard duck. I wonder if my husband would object to me digging a pond next to the house. It seems the Japanese can do just about anything to their property without fear of an homeowner`s association knocking on their door. Hmm, where did I put Taka`s spade?

I also remember the rabbits licking the salt blocks and happily nibbling the fresh picked grass I passed their way. (I was not one for grass back then, ate it once years later, upon being held down and forced by of my sister`s friend. However, I prefer meat.) Unfortunately years later I would come to love rabbit stew. Oh no, I have come to love duck roast too, I wonder if it was in the destiny of myself and in the fate of my wanted green-headed mallard.

I tried alligator once too while on a trip to Florida. Just tasted like less tender chicken. Oh my, I really do have a lot of memories related to animals, but now I have ventured to the eating of animals. Once on my way home after leaving a small American Navy base near Changwon, Korea I saw a cat being dipped into a pot of boiling water and then having its fur pulled from its body. Now if that won`t leave scars. Not on the cat, on me--psychologically! Poor cat`s fate.

Animal rights activist might have an issue with my next memory of experience, but I also tried dog soup when I was in Korea. It is not like they pull the dogs off the street for dinner. These dogs are especially breed for eating. No different than raising cows, horses, sheep, goats, chickens, turkeys, fish and other living creatures for human consumption. I think it is more about the humane slaughter of these animals for consumption, just like the halal method of slaughtering animals. Temple Grandin is pretty much the advocate, no not only an advocate she creates the machines and teaches the slaughterhouses how to be more humane. ..I imagine that to the cows she is somewhat of a Goddess. Anyway, back to the dog story. I went with my hostfather to a small restaurant with the intention of trying dog meat. Unfortunately, while waiting I could hear wimpering of some dogs nearby. I do not know if those were the dogs raised for the purpose or just random neighborhood dogs, but it did not help my guilt at the time. We went in, and as my hostfather and the other teachers stared at me as if waiting to see me vomit or something, I ate the dog soup. It tasted like pork. I would not have know the difference if I had not know what I was eating.

Another tangent. The season of Thanksgiving. I remember the headless turkey still running around on nerve impulse after losing its head (ax).

Going back to the pets issue. When I was about 10 years old, I had a guinea pig. I loved my guinea pig, but I killed it. That afternoon I let my guinea pig out of its cage so it could run around and eat its fill of grass. I forgot him. Overnight. The next morning I ran to rescue the guinea pig and to my relief he was still alive. The next day however, I found him stone cold dead in his cage. Whenever Taka is holding the goldfish in his hand declaring "look mommy, fishie!" I do so cringe! I think pets our important in childhood, but right now I doubt my ability to train my child in proper love and care of a pet, protect the life of the animal, and keep my sanity.

As a child, I went through stages of wanting(besides always wanting the green-headed mallard duck): a chinchilla, ferret, llama and other exotic animals.

I do think that cats, other pets and animals are an important part of childhood. Animals seem to speak the same language as children.

Other Tangents

I just finished the well-needed motivational read for surviving multicultural mothering and realizing that I am not alone is this vast, solemn sea. The book is called "Call me Okaasan Adventures in Multicultural Mothering" by Suzanne Kamata with 20 women writers from around the world.

You can find it on Amazon. Also, take a look at Suzanne`s website: www.suzannekamata.com

Reading this book, relaxed me and calmed my many fears about mothering a bi-cultural child. It also helped me form a determination to ignore the ignorance and negativity that surrounds this issue, and focus on listening to my mothering instincts.

Now on to the topic of Taka and his playing with the Japanese and English language. Yesterday, again when I said the word "Bobby" his recall directly repeated his recent "booby" joke. In another incident in the car while talking about his friend who was moving to another city and I mentioned that Taka lived in the city of "Ono" he played with this too. He started saying "oh, no Ono" several times. He really has a sophistication for language. He even added theEnglish emotional tone to "Oh, no" and the flat Japanese intonation to "Ono". Again, biased, but he really is amazing. (He also plays a lot with the Japanese pronunciation of English words. Because of the structure of the Japanese language, they often had an extra "o" or "u" to the end of the word. For example, Taka says "Cheese" and "chizu" or "ice cream" and "iesu creemu" "apple" and "apuru". He always extra enucifies the ending that Japanese use. "Mommy says juice and daddy says jusu" or such things.

Taka tends to seek my help in the Japanese language when he can not express himself. Yesterday, he wanted his Uncle to stop holding him in a grip hold, but he did not know the words so he shouted "Mommy tasukete" or help me! His Uncle let him go, but I worry about his over dependence on my assistance when he gets himself into trouble.

He is an very active boy, who does get himself into problematic situations--often! Previously, many of this problems have caused by his love to follow, torment and most recently love my sister-in-laws cats. When he was 1, while chasing a cat, he ran ahead of me and fell into the cement mostly empty ravine behind the house. He smacked his head hard, so I took him to the Dr. just to make sure everything was alright. Of course, at the Dr. it was my fault causing my paranoia towards raising a clever, rambuctious child in quiet, conservative Japan. How much guilt would I have to endure throughout my son`s childhood?

Yesterday, as I was going to the toilet, Taka went to the mechanics next door. By the time I went to check on him, he had vanished to another hidden place that I could not discover. After an unsuccesful search, I tried to enlist the help of his uncle. His uncle did not understand me, so I was stuck with a lonely search. It did not last long though, cause I soon heard Taka`s cries. Then from a distant, I saw him holding his sweater and shirt and crying. I scanned for blood and broken limb, but luckily upon reaching him, it was just a bunch of prickly bears from the plants he had cut through in order to ride a digger. It was also a bit of shame and fright, loss of pride. With a hug, holding and gentle telling of his story, he was fine.

In a flashback, when he was about 1 years old, besides falling into the ravine, another day he fell into a carelessly placed cactus plant leaving him with two eye and hand/arm fulls of thorns. I could not get the thorns out, finally later in the day, it took me, his dad and his uncle to hold him down and pull out the thorns.

Taka is going to have so many stories to tell in this future!

Bye Bye tai!

As Taka tends to spend most of his waking hours with me, he acts and sounds like me too. Of course, he has his own personality, but I can see and hear "me" within his personality. Unfortunately, children seem to be excellent sponges of weak points! I know I yell at him too much! (Working on resolving that issue!) He also makes up the silliest songs a habit picked up from me.

Recently, he likes to say "wait for me". He often used "wait, mommy. I`ll be right back, will you wait for me?" (sometimes I am impatient, so he is making sure that I will wait. Children teach us so much, don`t they!)

In the morning, when Taka does not want to go to school, he tells me, "Taka worried." Seems like everyday he thinks of a new excuse. But once he goes to school, when he goes and comes back...he seems to have a sense of pride of "working" all day long. (I tell him that his play is very important work, and that I want to hear every detail about what he did all day long.)

The other night, when I was going to quickly go to the store, Taka wanted to come. He felt panic because he thought I was going to leave without him so he screamed "Bye Bye tai" Bye Bye tai" (the tai is what you add to a verb in order to make the `I want` form) He was trying to say I want to go bye bye. The things he comes up with when he feels anxiety and stress are so funny. His main goal is just to communicate his idea, but he goes all out. He is usually comfortable talking with me, cause I tend to easily understand him, but his dad and people in the community do not so he is stressed. (Especially if I am with him, then people in the community go berserk with confusion in how to communicate with him...umm he is growing up in Japan....I suppose you should speak Japanese to him...umm)

Another anxiety/stress thing...still sometimes when he requests to have more of something and I say no, but he really wants it....he will in a panic, revert to the sign language for "more", pounding his fingers into his palm shouting more, more, more, more.

Tangents

I know I should have started this blog a long time ago, but life circumstances did not allow motivation for that to happen. As I have a "easily lost on a tangent" tendency in my personality, I might lose the average reader a few times, just bare with me! I probably will bring up past issues to help clarify the progression to the "here and now".

Working.
For a couple of months now Taka has focused on pretending to be different workers. He always wants to help and feel important. He always asks "where`s daddy?" "Is he at work?" In hopes of Taka one day(in the far future, he is not yet even 3 years old!) easily choosing what he wants to do with his future, I try to use various different titles of all the different professions out there.

He likes to mimic traffic directors (guards) but tends to go into the street with this one. (Maybe we can choose a less dangerous profession??) He also pretends (sounds included) to be a combine, forklift,tractor, bascically any kind of driver. He often says "Taka is Uncle Ted" or "Taka is Mr. Maeda" (the nearby farmer whose farm we visit just about every day. He also aften says "Taka working!" or "Taka`s busy!" He also pretends to be the mechanic next door when he drives the car or when he fixes his "moped" (his little inside bike). He also likes to pound nails, but now mommy not forgetting the fishtank episode plans "board and nail creation time" where we make something together. (When mommy gets her butt in gear, we plan to make a wooden garbage holder together.)

Music

Taka loves music. Whenever he watches the Wiggles Itsy Bitsy Spider scene, he does not focus on the actions to the song, but instead pretends to play piano like Jeff. He does this all the time wherever we go, he has some kind of natural musical instinct. (The same goes for dancing.) Which is kind of funny because when he was in my womb whenever I was in a store and loud (usually rap) music came on he would go wild...I bet you he was dancing!) He makes up songs to the rhythms of songs. His favorite songs right now are "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Old Mcdonald had a farm". He is always requesting that mommy sing (or mommy not to sing so he can sing). He loves the months of the year and days of the week song. Now I am looking for some good number songs to sing with him. He seems to be developing a very analytical personality. (perfectionist like daddy, yet disorganized like the both of his parents?)

DVDs and Books
Most of TAka`s langauge in English is from me, DVDs and books. Taka seems to like academic material and has an intense curiousity. (poor mom, how do I keep my sanity about grabby fingers not so much accepted in Japan as the child gets older and Taka`s natural curiosity about creativity, future aspirations...etc?) He gains so much cultural/social understanding from books and DVDs.
He has a problem with biting, so I bought a Karen Katz book called "No biting" and he loves it! Hopefully it will quell his biting habit. (I had bought the book also by Karen katz "Excuse Me" and it worked wonders for Taka`s manners.
In terms of DVDs he learns so much......and makes connections to the real world.

As Taka develops and matures, his emotional processing becomes apparent. A couple of months ago while going to bed he asked "Mommy? Mik-chan sick? Miki-chan died. Taka sick, Taka die? Then a couple of weeks ago again while going to sleep he asked "mommy, Miki-chan died, Taka`s fault?". I have to be careful with my wording of explanation or Taka is worried all the time whenever any of us get sick. I tried to explain that Miki`s heart, lungs and body did not work correctly and that us being sick was different, we would get better. I have to buy a book on the issue as I think Taka learns better through books than through my explanations.
On the topic of "Miki" Taka has been playing with language concerning his sister`s name, the neighboring city called "Miki" and Mickey Mouse.

Requesting Japanese books
Recently Taka wants me to read Japanese books (and is always asking me how to say things in Japanese so that he can communicate better). Up until now, I had kept a "this book is in daddy`s language so mommy can not read it" stance. But now Taka realized that I can read Japanese (at least picture books) and wants me to read in Japanese. I have not completely decided on a plan of action to address this yet, but when I read with Taka in English, if his dad is around, I try to get his dad to go over the same vocabulary in Japanese. His dad is not always a willing participant but when he does Takafumi is super excited.

I have a lot of multicultural mothering issues too, but will post them later. I just wanted to end with a recommendation of a book. The book is called Call Me Okaasan Adventures in Multicultural Mothering by Suzanne Kamata with 20 women writers from around the world.

Learning!

Takafumi has taken a great interest in "learning". He wants to be able to read and write. He is always requesting that I take his hand and write words. We do some pre-writing workbooks together. He also pretends to read "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?"
Whenever his dad and I are reading or working he comes and asks us "benkyou?" or "what are you doing mommy? Are you reading?". He says he is going to work if he goes to houikuen. He is requesting a lot these days to watch "Anpanman", his favorite character is Baikin man (the villain) and he always mimics baikinman`s voice and behaviour. The problem with this is, the other children do not understand what he is doing and take the voice he is using as a threat. He has gotten into actual fights because of this. Because it invokes anger in so many children (especially boys) I have asked Taka if it is okay that we only do Baikin man impressions at home.

I melted it!

Takafumi has always been a great planner and calculator. In his mind, he calculates how much free time he will have when mom is busy (drying off after a shower, going to the toilet) and then does the things that he has wanted to try for the longest time. This time, after a bath, he ran to the refridgerator as fast as he can, dropped one egg and cracked the other in the bowl. (He watches the LeapFrog Letter factory video and he loves one scene where before exiting the E room, the professor cracks an egg.) Recently he wants to crack eggs all the time! So when I came to find him after drying off (he was too quiet) he said "look mommy, Taka cracked it, but oh no, I melted this one." He is so expressive and funny!

Big Socks!

Taka took down two of the stockings, put them on and shouted "Look mommy! Big Socks!". He often adds real real to adjectives and verbs these days. (Sometimes I run into the convenience store and say "I`ll be real, real quick!") Now whenever we go somewhere he asks "Taka real, real quick?" He is watching Blues Clues in this picture. Right now he watches mostly 1. Go Diego Go, 2. Dora the Explorer 3. Wonderpets 4. The Wiggles 5. Barney. He is not really interested in Elmo so much anymore. Whatever he watches, he wants to learn. He has a very strong natural curiosity to learn. He loves when he can improve his vocabulary and knowledge. He is really good at generalizing now. He makes some pretty intelligent observations and connections. I am learning from him everyday!
I would say the biggest struggle for me as a mom is the cultural aspect. My values that I am naturally teaching him through just being me are not really acceptable in the Japanese culture. He is always being scolded for being to loud and rough. He is gradually maturing, but I struggle with allowing him to be himself and the expectations of how a mom should raise a child in Japan.

End of the Year party

On December 9th, there was an End of the Year party hosted by the Kasai International Society. Paula, from Mexico made a Pinata and presented the way cultural aspects. Taka is familiar with Pinatas because I always make them for his B-day and Halloween Parties. He loves Paula, and gets shy when I tell him he can use the few spanish words he knows from watching Go Diego Go! He always points out that Paula speaks the same language as Diego and Dora. I plan to buy a program so we can start having fun learning Spanish too.
Right now, Taka is kind of in a stage where he prefers to learn Japanese. It seems because he feels he has good enough communication with me, but not with his dad and the outside community. He seems to have natural communication talent (genetics, always carried in a baby sling, and baby sign language history at play here?)
He was watching DVDs in English for a long time, but now his interest has kind of faded. I did start (in a scaffolding approach) start a Taka school upstairs. I was going to start homeschooling, but it is not for Taka and I, so I decided just to read to him and teach him how to read. No pressure, just fun. When I first wake him up, I state the day, date and weather. I give him a kiss, ask him how he slept and then start reading books (he usually snuggles in my lap). Sometimes he will request books. For example, if he hears a strong wind (this scares him) he asks what it is and when I respond with " it is the wind", he requests the book "The Wind Blew" by Pat Hutchinson. One of his favorite books right now is Froggy Gets Dressed. He loves to read books and learn new vocabulary. His grammar is improving too. He tends to use English grammar for English and Japanese grammar for Japanese now. (Before he always used Japanese grammar for both languages.
We sing both the months of the year song and days of the week song with flashcards. We do color and number flashcards and sometimes manipulatives (if I have the patience because he usually just likes to dump things out and throw them). He often requests to read the sight word readers that I have. His favorite is Go, Go. (We also do flashcards and play some games with sight word flashcards.
He knows his upper and lower case alphabet thanks to The Leap Frog Alphabet Factory and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom! When we made a paper Christmas tree, he wanted to had the alphabet just like we did when we made a coconut tree from Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
He can write the letter T which starts his name, and when he sees an A,T or a K he says "just like in Takakumi". A while ago he said Takafumi, but now he says "Takakumi".


Here is Taka with Paula, a social studies teacher from Mexico. Taka loves when we take Paula home sometimes when visiting another friend. When Taka was a little younger he was kind of timid of foreigners, often crying upon meeting foreign men. When he was about 2 years old, he started to become embarrassed when he would meet foreigners. Now at 2 years and 8 months, he is rather comfortable with foreigners.

Taka loves to pose for the camera and take pictures. He is actually getting good at taking pictures, he still misses the heads and mostly captures the most intimate parts. Funny! It kind of lets me understand from his point of view...that is what he sees all day!

Asim has a beard, and Taka is not crying. He finally got used to beards!

Taka is a complete flirt!